Seeking refuge



 Showing off my beautiful necklace that Katie gave me during my cancer treatment wearing it for the first time.  Some mornings I struggle to get out of  bed and others I look forward to the day ahead.  My body is still struggling with low energy, some days it is easy to complete tasks, while other mornings I struggle,  this I find deeply frustrating.  How does one overcome this lethargy in the body as well as towards life.  I do daily journalling, gratitude diaries and have learnt self compassion yet I still seem to fall down that damn hole.  Today I had an appointment at the hospital to have a bone infusion, I knew it was in the chemo infusion unit but I didn't expect that feeling of anxiety to be waiting  for  me as I entered the room.  The emotion of being back in this space brought back feelings of the fear I faced each time I came along, the discomfort during and after treatment.  My body, mind and emotions are still traumatized from this time.  Maybe I might do a collage to express how I'm feeling it brings to mind that teenage girl who wants to disappear into herself, she sits at the base of a tree wrapping her arms around her legs, seeking refuge from within.


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